Sent:
To: N. Cowperthwaite
Cc: rest
Subject: Perfect Storm XIV
Ms.
Branch M
Bank of
Del Mar
Heights.
Dear Ms.
Cowperthwaite,
When I was
last in “your branch” you
and I once again ran into each other. The previous time though, you m
I make it
my business to avoid running unless I am in to exercise. Doing mental
gymnastics with you is simply no fun nor is it profitable. There has to be sum
gain somewhere along the line otherwise I simply get bored and I tune off.
You may
recall my BUS-chooling to mention little of my dogs
and how you could have been the top dog to introduce “My God’s credit card to the
word” [sic] and beat
I am not
yet deaf nor am I altogether a bum, perhaps you might think a little dumb, more
likely simply numb from the deafening silence.
Maybe you
think I am a caveman just because I
spend time at The Cave butt I
also know a smart babe when I see one. Ipsofacto why I had the other lady in
your “stor” [sic] who happens to be very good looking help me.
She
recognized not simply the fact that I had the right credit line account number
without bothering which car if any I was driving. More importantly, she seemed
to recognize that I had pretty good taste including my choice of cigar shops
where I purchased my Prometheus cigar
lighter while celebrating July 4th a little early with the executor
of my estate after hearing sum good
news about
Those
celebrations did unfortunately spill over into the street where some of
To my
surprise and enlightenment these folks, most of whom were black had got it down
pat. I still need to send a letter to the white lieutenant who eventually came
on to the scene to complement him on the folks who make him look so Lilly white
smart shoes good. No dodo
head this cop.
Ms.
Cowperthwaite you no doubt fully appreciate the art forms in business with the
sciences having been thrown out the window to be eaten by the birds who have
avoided the kills that came with the hits from the curriculum that is supposed
to separate the wheat from the chaff butt which in fact leaves those doing the
milling and investing with the short end of the premier prime ribs, scraps to
boot as in, “Oh what a tangled web we leaf when first we practice
witchcraft looking at tea leaves while sturing the pot” [sic].
Having
examined up close the art you have displayed in “your stor” [sic] I
can tell you don’t have the foggiest clue about what distinguishes a
great artist from a good artist which is in how well they paint shadows. Butt
don’t feel bad, most people I know who have spent a lifetime traveling
around the world, visiting the so-called best art museums alive, most good artists
having died poor and saws up the kazoo, ears burning no doubt, even those who
actually studied it at school, don’t know their art as well as they know
their pooh as in Winney The Pooh.
I am today
being very careful about my language since I no longer want to distract from
the essence of what I have to say, purposely in the past thrown in a zinger or tTOo so as to keep the
folks who are the focus of my attention continuously praying against all odds
that I am not still mad, at them that is, knowing full well that I am neither
crazy, yet still hoping others will shoot their arrows better yet that I remain
still and just continue to eat my apple a day as in what I refer to as “arrow lane” where the
“Toyjoys” [sic] had their hired guns perfect their mark.
I have
never, however been a pig at the trough
so I don’t see why anyone would want my hide, never though will they be
able to prick my pride although I have made a few mistakes in the past
including indulging in the our family’s brand of Gip-sy Coffee.
It is rare
though that I take coffee straight up black as I once told you but I think it
is always important to smile even when you having a bad hair day and if necessary wear a hat and never more than one otherwise
I am likely to throw you a knuckleball,
at a minimum a speed ball,
never though a hairball. I trim my hair noses as best I can.
If I recall
correctly you were wearing a hat as I believe it was opening day at the races
here in
I did quite
a lot that day, just like I do every day but I don’t make it a habit to
tell everybody everything that I do as in the words of my neighbor
Now I have
been called that once although I doubt my “step-daughter” who still
thinks she is one step ahead of me would ever think to do that again.
She is 13
and still a teenager. She and I mostly have a lot of fun together especially in
the last couple of years and in fact we both spent the evening of first day at
the races shopping at the UCT Mall looking at those out and about, not quite
fitting into the Bell Shaped Curve.
At the entrance
to the mall there are these rather large sized bells that caught my attention
but not as much as her question about the compression of mass under water.
For the
next two hours I battled to keep up with her as she went from store to store
trying on bunches and bunches of things from shoes, to sunglasses, to short to
pants, to blouses and eventually she didn’t buy a thing despite being
told immediately after “mass” that she could have the mall if she
wanted it.
Sometimes
she isn’t quite sure whether I am kidding especially when I tell her
about some of the people I run into. I have yet though, to tell her about you.
Danielle did, however, agree to grab a takeaway which she 8 on the go.
Yesterday
though while sitting on the side of the railway tracks eating my
lunch and watching the surf as well as the surfers from the corner of a
property I hope to Sunday rent, an 88 year old gentleman came up to me wanting
to know if I could give him a job.
I was just minding my own business and at first I thought he had probably taken one tTOo many falls and it turns out that he did in fact have a stroke recently but he was dead serious about wanting to get back to work even though his resume says that Mr. Erwin Sawade has been retired some 35 odd years. Later he invited me over to his house for a cup of coffee.
The picture of the bird in the hand is something I saw on
his dining room table. Apparently it was taken fairly recently. The hands are
those of his son whose name happens to be
I agreed to come and visit him next week
and return his resume and the bird picture which he said, “just flew into
my sun’s hand as he ate a cookie” although he wasn’t
insistent that I do anything.
AND he has certainly not lost all his
marbles perhaps he just needs a new set of springs.
When I met him he was working with a cane
but he climbed the steps like he would have been a model for one of those
before and after surgeries which it seems may not be all that beneficial.
He took me in to the back of his house
where he has two cars parked in a garage, a 1967
There were less than 60,000 miles on the
odometer and he said they were original. I had no reason to disbelieve him. He
clearly though wasn’t interested in selling either vehicle even though
the Pontiac he said had “about 150,000, still runs very well but not
quite as good as the Mustang. “Erv” said he still planned to drive
the Mustang “one of these days.”
This rather interesting man said that the
only thing about the stroke that seems to linger on is that, “it affects
my memory from time to time.” He was having trouble finding the resume
and kept going back upstairs to look for it.
I was worried that he might have another
stroke and I would be blamed for putting him into an early grave.
While he was upstairs I was kinda snooping
around looking at different items of interest. His wife was of Irish descent,
his ancestors “great grandfather” came from an area between
He named the area butt my French
isn’t good enough to “stor it write in my brain” [sic]. He
and his wife were married for “51 and a half years. She passed away in
1993.”
A little dust had collected on a plague
his wife had put up in the kitchen area titled An Irish Blessing.
Mr. Sawade came downstairs for the 3rd
time just as I was making a note of what I had seen in an oversized dictionary
that had a rather large magnifying glass lying on the one side of the page.
The top left of the page had the word
“KICK-TURN” and the top right side, “KINETIC.” A large
magnifying glass covered the word, “KIKE” all the way down to
“KILL” just above a map of “
I have a picture somewhere which shows me
flying over this mountain quite a few years back, hoping to
make the climb up there one of these days as soon as I can get folks like you
to start acting right and hunkering down and
yes if you put things down on paper it is most likely you will think at least
twice, certainly it is less likely you will get it wrong more than once, that
is if I am still around.
My friend Anne Miller who
passed away at age 94 this past Christmas day left me a whole stack of
dictionaries, several I have yet to open. There seem to be notes written to me
all over them.
When I first began to tell Danielle about
Mr. Sawade asking me for a job she didn’t find it at all strange perhaps
thinking to herself, “Well I heard you saying that you might one day
work...”
When I then told her that she has a
grandmother who is just a few years younger than Mr. Sawade,
“wouldn’t it be something if she decided to go out and do sum good
with her time” my not-so-little girl got the message.
She doesn’t like it though when I
start quizzing her friends or her grandmother let alone her father looking for
material to place on our websites butt she is allowing me to put up a photo or
tTOo of her on the websites.
Danielle is not only beautiful but she
photographs very well.
Please Ms. Cowperthwaite send me your
best photo or else I will simply have my cartoonist go at it with reckless
abandonment.
At the
moment we have going on 20 Perfect Storms brewing
in our effort tu bridge the credibility with the youth of today because as your
children will tell you the generation gap argument is not only nonsense it is
bad for the “jeans” [sic].
Talking of which,
yesterday just before I ran into Mr. Sawade I bumped into one of “The
blonde” anchorwomen while shopping for a collar and some treats for my
Pypeetoe.
I have promised Ms. Kimberly Hunt that the she wont be disappointed in the sum of our stories and I suspect that this “babe” not only can add butt she will soon see that “this dog does hunt.”
I hate
though hot air although I love the bagpipes especially
when they are played by one of my favorite people in the "word" [sic].
I always
try and remember to pat my dog since I for one don’t know if he really
truly is a God.
Who is to
say and that is why I always start out looking for the best in folks since it
is always possible that God is within each one of us, some more so than others,
possibly.
Again,
there are so many possibilities about everything that I feel the need to start
narrowing the field, beginning with the worst that is out there but never
forgetting that not everyone gets the opportunity to ride in an elevator twice
with the likes of
When he
finds out the story behind that roller coaster elevator ride I took him on
corner of
Right now I
suspect he and his lawyers
are starting to breath more and more uneasily, perhaps even beginning to lick
their chops not knowing what if anything I plan to let them hang on to.
Ms.
Cowperthwaite why not take the time and read Perfect Storm II on the www.footsak.com website. I actually went rather easy on those folks butt make no
mistake I didn’t only prove my point that one can resolve conflicts
without going the lawsuit route with the lawyers ultimately cleaning up good, I
also got a good bite of the pie, certainly those I care for got their
“Jew” [sic].
There were
no lawsuits just the occasional follow up communications that all said and done
didn’t amount to the amount of time I have taken to write this email.
What really
slows me done is having to scan the photos into the computer and then to upload
them on to the Internet.
So far it
has taken me all of one hour to pull this altogether; that hour could have been
spent doing other things that help pay “the rent” butt obviously
though I see sum upside to taking on you and those who support you.
You may not
know this butt I was raised orthodox Jewish and I happen to subscribe to the
basic tenants of Judaism although I don’t always agree with everyone who
preaches what is supposedly gospel. I do like gospel singing just like my eldest
brother who attended a protestant school.
Obviously,
if you feel I am being unjustified in my criticism you could
join forces with Mr. “Ring a ding ding DONG Pearlman” [sic] who
is surely losing his charm along with his hair butt even he hasn’t quite
yet decided how best to set his hounds on me.
No doubt
though there is going to come a time pretty soon when Mr. Perelman, Mr.
Butt I
wouldn’t hold you breath expecting relief from these “good
news” fellows.
I would
suggest you pay attention to at least see how the networks decide to handle the
disconnects I have uncovered between Mr. Christopher Byron who wrote the bestseller
Martha Inc. and Ms. Martha Stewart who Mr. Byron somehow failed to remember had
“sum-ever-so-close-ties” [sic] to Mr. Perelman.
I used to
love those “Eet sum more” [sic] cookies from
Yes, Ms.
CowPerthwaite we are going to rock and rock and make no mistake the folks at
CALPERS are going to also take quite a beating.
My only
hope though is that President Bush wakes up real quick and takes my advice to suspend
trading on the stock markets because it is all about horses for courses butt
this horse is on its last legs.
As the Chapter
11 bankruptcies gain momentum so will the masses rise up especially those who
have not succumbed to the brain-washing that goes the heart of what causes the
marble in our brains.
By the time
Chapter 7 comes along, remember we go from right to left as in EmanANDdog the
only thing left is going to be the writing on the wall, etched in stone.
Of course
the airlines who blanket our skies preventing those of us from enjoying the
fruits of our labor plan to stay “in business” just so long as the
m
AND of
course they are not all idiots, butt they are certainly rapacious. So how does
your 401K look today?
I can all
butt guarantee you a whole lot better than it will look one year from now
assuming Mr. Warren Bail us out
Buffet is wrong. Have you ever got sick eating at a Buffet?
Just this
very second I got off the phone from one of my lawyer-colleagues who informed
me that his grandmother had just passed away at age 99,
““Nana was from Marblehead,
30 miles from B.ston. It seems the earth will still start stinking from the aggregation of your enemies congregating on the b.ack end of the planet to unbalance the gravitational pIll of the earth dnA in so doing the earth will slowly sink in tTOo
Jupiter’s satellite,
new paths to conquer boot-straps to pull or are you
simply saying we are going to have to go back to bootstrapping
our business ventures with the coming demise of the stock markets around the
world? You are hopefully on the side of the sun. I for
Ms. …
I must tell you I am having such difficulty in spelling your name that in the
future I am just going to refer to you as Ms. C.
Were you
aware that there are according to the Koran 99 known names for God and that the
camels know the 100th. I cannot stress it enough, now is the time
for a deep breath.
It is now a
6:30pm PST on my computer clock and I as soon as I finish typing this email I
am out of here, no spell cheche and whathaveyou.
When my
time is up no matter what I wont be put on any artificial devices. “Our
Marie look-alike
engineer” who has his finger on the pulse will make the say so as to
whether or not to pull the plug assuming of course I make it back in “one
peace” [sic].
You and I
though will hopefully resolve things to both our satisfaction well ahead of
that.
You know I
never did check out the head at your branch. So you should therefore ask
yourself the question what was I doing there in the first place?
I
don’t think you have been on my email list before so I will repeat it
again and again and again and then a 100th time if necessary:
I detest people who derive great enjoyment in exceeding the limits of
their small
authority; i.e. evil doesn’t come with a pointed tail and pitchfork.
Back on
July 23rd I think it was around
I wrote
down the exact time somewhere. I would love to get my hands on that photo.
Eventually our early July 4th celebrations made their way to one of my
lawyer-colleagues’ houses and “Campbell Soup” was dressed to kill.
I have a picture somewhere of my travel companion, probably on one of
the hypolinks wearing what I described previously as a “red and white
Andy Warhol dress" [sic] which had the name GLASS
hanging all over it when in fact it wasn’t red at all.
My travel companion's "engineer" did assist
her though in snipping off the excess thread. Butt if I had said “pink” folks would have thought that I had possibly talked this
ever-so-smart amazing mother of tTOo + the animals+tomatoes+sunflower+art+me
into buying something just because I might have had another agenda or tTOo
going.
There are
in fact some folks who go by the last name Glass who I will be communicating
with in “Jew course” [sic] sometime in the course of the next
several days.
There is,
however, another Glass family who I don’t believe are related but who had
a hand in all those not-so-odd items we see in movies bought and paid for by
Cokes and Pepsis of the world and I want to stay on their good sides because I
may yet need them.
I actually
used to work with a relative of theirs and I think he still thinks I am someone
to be trusted but not easily fooled
with.
I still
have now over 500 emails to respond some going back to the beginning of the
year. Trust me though, by this October 23rd
I will be all “court up” [sic].
Despite you
telling this “good looking” Bank of America assistant not to assist
me she assured me that she had placed the order for my credit line checks.
They have
not arrived and I recall you watching over her as I left “your
stor” [sic] reminding you at the same time that “altitude is everything”
[sic].
You may
also recall me mentioning to you that I had a Latin teacher with a similar name
to yours. Mr. Braithwaite was really someone special.
We have
butt minimum time to mend the fences before the storm awakens for real. And
those in the other side of the equator decide to unite and stand tall.
Remember it
wasn’t all that long ago when
Not that
long ago when we were all one…dust to dust, atom to atom.
“Old
man” Braithwaite was a surfer and I bet he not only knew how to ride a tube he would have done so why conjugating his “amicus
amice amicum…amo, amas, imacunt” [sic] Its been a while since I
spoke Latin so please excuse my rustiness.
I must now
run off to Rustys, a surf shop down the road, before it closes.
Please call
the Bank of America folks who handle my credit line [1xxx
553-6494] and explain to them why you would interfere with my business
matters.
I know I am
repeating myself but be aware now is the time for you to take a deep breath.
The train is just “passing byte”
[sic].
Sincerely,
Gary S.
Gevisser
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