From: Gary
S. Gevisser
Sent:
To: Rabbi Weinsberg
Cc: rest including Dennis Prager; Marc Weiner; Devin Standard; Jeff R. Krinsk Esq.
Subject: RE:
Please consider this invitation from Aish.com
Dear Rabbi Weinberg, thank you for
thinking of me.
I just blasted out an email to too
gentlemen, the founders of a PR firm, Baker
Winokur Ryder but a number of things got messed
up in the process due to the number of folk copied on that email much like I
plan to do with “hear” [sic], my needing
to meet with a banker before 5PM PST in order to get my “dog and
pony” show fully underway,
And of course u would have seen “at
least” [sic] be4 Christmas spelled
as Xmess,
agree?
Suffice to say these wonderful Jewish folk
could be talked in to also giving you a hand if in fact u r as genuine and
wonderful as your incredible good looks, suggest u r, agree?
Before I get started in helping you help
others equally minded, i.e. in balance with the heartbeat of the universe, can
you tell me if you have heard of Rabbi Abner Weiss who was born and raised in
South Africa, received some of his formal education here in the United States
before returning to South Africa to coach the likes of me in questioning
authority, later returning to the United States first as a Rabbi I believe it
was in Riversdale New York City, ultimately ending up
as the rabbi of the Beth Jacob Orthodox Jewish synagogue in Beverly Hills,
California?
I have been trying to reach Rabbi Weiss
for sum time to discuss a number of things including my thoughts as to how I
may have helped solve the age old pursuit of learned men such as yourself who
have not let their formal education interfere with their learning, my penchant
for mathematics perhaps nothing short of a G-D-Nature-Send, the Digital Age as
in 1010 excreta etcetera first being lit in the ancient biblical texts but
requiring a mind such as Pythagoras with his 0+1+2+3+4=10 to say it best, his
“This and This equals That” quite a “hat trick”, in the
process thou, taking all forms of mysticism and superstition out of the equation,
his Right Angle Triangle Theorem which of course you can recite by heart much
like Hear O Israel, I am the Lord thy G-D, G-d is one
as precise as it got, agree?
Until, of course, along came another
Jewish fellow by the name of Albert Einstein who with great assistance from
another supposedly Jewish fellow, Mr. Grossman produced E=mc², not that I would
expect u to have heard of George
Fellows, a former CEO of Revlon Corporation whose “control
person” is another supposedly Jewish person going by the name Ronald
“The Finagle King”
Perelman, E=mc², as someone hell bent on
cing [see-ing] the “Hand of G-D” at work
would have by now gone well beyond simply looking at this ingenious summary
explanation of the inner workings of the cosmos often referred by Einstein
himself, not exactly a dummy, altogether, as, “The mind of G-D”,
Mr. Einstein though very much caught up in the spotlight of the media blitz,
opposed to the Nazis, quite thou the pacifist concerned about how his
“gift” might be used to bring about the end of the world as we know
it, my thinking, however, that towards the end of his life Mr. Einstein growing
somewhat disillusioned with his quest in coming up with a,
Unified theory
For the inner
workings
Of the universe
at least thought
to himself be4 kicking the bucket, “How many coincidences does it take
be4 it is no longer a coincidence?”
I look forward to continuing this dialogue
with you in short order, and while searching out Rabbi Weiss please give sum
thought to the number 4 which may be, wouldn’t you agree not only how the
Star of David looks “along
the edges” but half what we refer to as the infinity sign which looks
a whole lot like the figure 8, once one does what is referred to in the Digital
World as a “Right Angle Rotate”, whole numbers you would know when
first trying to decipher the text of the Old Testament are also known as
integers which are by most just a little well versed in mathematics, as being
both real and imaginary, u knowing 4 absolute certain, however, that one cannot
begin even thinking about converting the text of the so-called Torah without a
pretty good command of mathematics, knowing as u do, your English a whole lot
better than mine that no fricken Englishman such as
myself, even more of an idiot schooled under the “command and
control” of Jewish Capos in the Nationalist Nazi Republic of South Africa
between the years 1948 ad-infinitum, stopping thou around the year 1993, that
it would be nothing short of sacrilege tu begin a sentence with a preposition,
as in, “In the beginning, blah
blah”.
This first exercise should not result in
you feeling the need to call in a cardiologist like my cousin Dr. Barry Molk
who is very much a chip off the old block, nor be distracted by one of my one
hundred odd websites currently under construction, bloc-buster.com soon tu
assist in launching my book Manager Minute One which is a
“take-off” of the business book best-seller Manager Minute One
being a blockbuster success, www.eMANandDOG .com
rather well configured to embrace the essence of Quantum Mechanics, that which
goes forwards must work “equally” as well “in reverse”,
nothing quite like NameGODdna, agree?
And I assume, u do not have time on your
hands for golf nor have your deficit needs kicked in to the point that you only
have time to think about the next social engagement, in my mind golf,
nothing short of an “Act of Dog”, hence “Dog leg to the left
and write” [sic] for those who are about tu become unglued the most as
the financial markets in all 4 corners of the earth begin tu implode, agree?
Naturally, like Mr. Warren
“BO” Buffet I have been hedging my bets and those fortunate enough
to be on my email list going back as far as December 1st, 2000 to
coincide with the 27th Anniversary of the death-life of
Israel’s first prime minister, David Ben Gurion who beseeched the
children of Israel to be a light unto the nations, can be possibly counted on
to assist you in your efforts, assuming of course you respond appropriately to
this communiqué, now take a look at this Goodbye Beat
hyperlink, you of course would agree that we are all living on “borrowed
time” tu c how when we transpose numbers like 27 we end up with 72 which
u may or may not agree is the number of names for G-D according to the Kabala,
u wouldn’t happen to have the email address of Madonna, would u?
And of course if you are concerned that
Mr. "SummerRedStone" [sic] the
“control person” at Blockbuster may object to that one website I
have news for him as well as you
Anyone else who ignores my earnest desire
to enter into a meaningful dialogue, I will with G-D’s help embarrass the
crap out of such despicable characters given the fact wouldn’t you agree
that we are obligated by a strict reading of the so-called “Shemah” i.e. “Hear…” for those
copied in on this email whose Hebrew may not be as good as yours or mine, that
we should question our fellow man at least equal to how we are commanded to
“struggle with G-D” the one literal translation of
“Israel” being nothing short of a “struggle with G-D.”
Now of course less said the better,
particularly if u have skeletons in your closet, hi Norman Lazarus, hi Merrick
Wolman et al, but u must understand in reaching my target audience of sum 6.3
billion people on this planet, a whole number more likely brain dead than the
number of illiterates who will be provided with The Tool to assist them in
getting up to speed, eventually being able to work thru my Guidance tTOo,
agree?
You may also know that I am not one to
embrace anyone who goes around in circles my paying very careful attention to
G-D-Nature having dispensed with our tails, i.e. I am capable if “pushed
against the wall” i.e. those who derive great satisfaction in exceeding
the limits of their small authority, i.e. evil doesn’t come in the form
of a pointed tail or pitched fork, tu respond with a series of knuckleballs,
which seem to knock the wind out of the likes of some of so-called genii of our
times, such as Dennis Prager who when asking me for nothing short of a
“hand out” failed to reply when I responded to his wife’s
request back on January
9th of this year, “… our school has decided to present
Dennis with a special gift – a beautifully bound book of messages from as
many of his correspondents as possible. Dennis has touched many people’s
lives. If you are one of them, please take the time to e-mail your feelings
about Dennis…” apparently my revised rendition of Matthew 5.5. of the New Testament as in
The Meek
WITH TEETH
Shall
Inherit
The earth
Falling on deaf “sic” [sic] ears, and of
course you would know that if we “twisted” things around a little as
many of our political and religious leaders have been doing going back to the
year dot you would have the above expression looking a whole lot like this
The meek
WITH TEETH
Inherit
Shall
The earth
Not tu forget that importance of Sabbath blessing on Friday
night right before the washing of hands and cutting of bread, my formal
education in Judaism perhaps not as lengthy as yours but then again as
ugly-duckling as I am these days well into my 46th year on this
planet, at least this time around, sufficient enough 4 me to feel comfortable
in debating you, your mentors, your students anyone in your fricken
congregation who doesn’t subscribe to my incredible mother’s
position, “I only debate people who agree with me.”
Finally, in looking at the decrepit English
dictionary last night I saw in a definition of the word “sic” this
sign “>” which most would agree is the scientific-mathematical
symbol 4 “greater than”, nothing more fricken
annoying to me than seeing someone with a whole lot more hair on their head
than me while also realizing that if they were to be say “head and
shoulders” taller than me and decide to get into “fisty cuffs” with me so as to cut me down to size I
would have something to hold, while going from a dead position taking out their
knees with a stiff arm tackle, agree?
Please bear in mind that while writing this email I
am also thinking at this point about a follow up email to Professor Aaron Brown
of the Yeshiva in New York City, and if you know anything abut this fellow,
i.e. his CV, i.e. his Curriculum Vitae, not that I would expect u to get out
and about on your scooter to check this yoyos vital signs, just let me know,
however, if you know anything about this individual who serves as a beacon of
sorts 4 many young Jewish people including the son of the Head Prefect at our
Jewish Day School, Mr. David Levy who happens to be as best I know, the
president of a Jewish Orthodox Congregation just down the street from Del Mar
where I live with my shiksa wife, La Jolla sum argue
nothing more than a rich shtetl 4 wandering Jews
looking 4 purpose in their life.
Leaving u on a positive note, suffice to say that
despite “giving up on G-D” at about the time of my Barmitzvah, presided over by non-other than Rabbi Weiss
with no doubt a bunch of Jewish Capos in attendance, I eventually came around
to working out that is G-D alive and well, living within each one of us, those
of us of course who are not altogether brain dead, with sufficiently
mathematical and physical evidence as in physics, not sum fukukta psychic
whispering some nonsense in my ear, beginning by looking at my hands, first to
c if I was happily married or just unhappy to be a single person jerking off 5
times a day, as opposed to making love each and every hour on the hour with the
love of my life, i.e. my wife who although attending a confession or too as a
Roman Catholic being forced to lie, as in, “I hit my sister, lied to my
mother” than comes across as sinless, Ms. Marie Dion could hold her own
despite being one of the toughest of students, her logical mind quite awesum smart enough thou to know being quite the artist
painter that it would have to take sum master painter to paint things such as
our amazing sunsets, managing to work in our human pollution, knowing a thing
or tTOo operating in negative space, bringing to life, time and again, the
dead, the downtrodden, those momworkers, orphans, widows, widowers, pensioners
who generation after generation get taken in by the so-called religious elders
in cahoots with dirty politicians and their friends in the mainstream media,
selling stuff like guilty, and blood splattered pictures of Jesus Christ who as
u know was born, raised, lived the life of a Jew, questioning authority until
Kingdom come, dying, then being buried as one would expect someone adhering to
the highest traditions of Judaism, i.e. not tu be a pig at the tough.
So Mr. Rabbi, how much do you weigh, and when do you
expect to slim down enough to feel comfortable in meeting your maker and not
simply taking up space on this earth, preaching sum G-D awful nonsense when
more and more people can read like never be4, most of all the 10 Commandments
without any prick giving his-her commentary, agree?
Agree to what u may ask?
Let me help u help yourself, as in, “If not
now, then when…”
And in the event your German is not up tu par with
your Hebrew, Gevisser means “certain” and Gewissen means
“conscience” and if u still don’t know where I am coming from or
what I mean when I mean business then my answer is very straightforward, “You
are either incompetent or culpable should you go so far as to even consider
ignoring me, agree?
In the words of Mahtma
Ghandi, "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight
you, then you win."
Please, I beg of you, don’t confuse me with my
famous cousin, the gay author-journalist, Mark Gevisser.
Good Day,
Gary S. Gevisser
-----Original
Message-----
From: Rabbi Noah Weinberg
[mailto:membership@aish.com]
Sent:
To: gsg@sellnext.com
Subject: Please consider this
invitation from Aish.com
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