From: Gary S. Gevisser
Sent:
To: Marc “Getting tu
know u” Weiner
Cc: rest including:BrownNose;
spberman;sir; deputygm;
Subject: RE: Recommended
Marc -
good tu hear from u. My question be4 reading one word other than the headline
"The Prohibition of Communicating Lashon Hara [evil tongue]" is very
precise, what very specifically is your point?
Now I
recognize that you have exhibited a whole lot more courage than most people I
grew up with, most of whom like
I was
not only raised Orthodox Jewish, having scored the highest mark in the final
exams, at least according the diary I kept while on Ulpan 4 4 months in Israel
back in 1972,
my focus like the rest of us testosterone clad guys more on the girls'
Take care,
-----Original
Message-----
From:
Sent:
To: gsg@sellnext.com
Subject: Recommended
I thought
you'd enjoy this piece from the Torah.org archives.
http://www.torah.org/learning/halashon/chapter1.html
The
Prohibition of Communicating Lashon Hara
Definition of Lashon Hara: Negative Comments,
Whether True or False
Biblical Source for the Prohibition Against
Lashon Hara
Habitual Speakers of Lashon Hara
Profound Consequences of Speaking Lashon Hara
Being "Coerced" into Speaking
Lashon Hara
Speaking Lashon Hara to Avoid Financial Loss
Speaking Lashon Hara to Avoid Personal
Dishonor
Various Methods of Conveying Lashon Hara
Disparaging Yourself
This
chapter discusses the general prohibition of conveying Lashon Hara through any form
of communication, and also the great significance of adherence to and
negligence of these laws.
1.
Definition of Lashon Hara: Negative
Comments, Whether True or False
It is
forbidden to speak disparagingly of one's "chaveir" (lit. friend--we
will discuss who this technically includes later). Even if the information is
entirely truthful, it is called Lashon Hara. If the information also contains
any fabrication, it is also called motzi shem ra (lit. putting out a bad name).
The speaker of Lashon Hara violates the prohibition of "Lo telech rachil
b'ameicha (Lev.
2.
Biblical Source for the Prohibition Against Lashon Hara
Leviticus
3.
Habitual Speakers of Lashon Hara
The
above (the seriousness of speaking Lashon Hara) relates to someone who incidentally
includes something inappropriate in his speech.
But those who make it a habit to talk about others in a derogatory
manner ("Did you hear.....", "Do you know she.....", etc.)
are labeled ba'alei lashon hara (lit. masters of Lashon Hara, in that such
speech is an integral part of themselves), and their transgression is far more
severe. They regularly create a chilul Hashem (desecration of the name of G-d;
cf. Lev.
4.
Profound Consequences of Speaking Lashon Hara
Ba'alei
Lashon Hara are also cut off from something else: olam habah (the World to
Come). The Sages say (Bab. Erchin 15b) that for three transgressions one
forfeits his portion in olam habah: murder,
adultery, and idol worship, and that lashon hara is equivalent to all
three. The Chafetz Chaim adds that when someone accustoms himself to speaking
Lashon Hara, he rationalizes it to the extent that he begins to view Lashon
Hara as entirely permissible.
The
comparison of Lashon Hara to well-known and agreed-upon sins such as murder is
surprising. But at the same time, we can imagine why: just as the "Ten
Commandments" sins damage and destroy vital physical aspects of the world,
Lashon Hara afflicts the emotional and social realms.
5. Being "Coerced" into Speaking
Lashon Hara
There is
no difference when speaking lashon hara whether one tells a juicy story of his
own will or because someone encourages (or pressures) him to do so. Even if the
speaker's Rebbe (teacher) or parent--whom the person must honor and fear, and
not contradict--requests that he tell about an incident, if the relating of the
information would result in Lashon Hara or even Avak Lashon Hara (speech that
provokes Lashon Hara; more about that later), he cannot say it.
If you
think about it, Lashon Hara isn't any different from any other commandment. If
someone encouraged you, or even nagged you, to eat a cheeseburger, you would
still be fully responsible for your actions.
Certainly social pressure for gossip seems more effective than it is for
food, drink and many other areas, but that may be because we are not used to
saying "no" to evil speech.
6.
Speaking Lashon Hara to Avoid Financial Loss
Even
when subject to great financial loss, one is not permitted to speak Lashon
Hara. This may mean that he will be viewed as a fool, and denied financial
opportunity by the "intelligent" people with whom he associates. As
in all Mitzvot Lo Taaseh (Torah prohibitions), we are commanded to forgo all of
our income.
(The
source for this is in Shema: b'kol l'vavcha, b'kol nafsh'cha, ub'kol m'odecha:
"You shall love the L-rd your G-d with all of your heart, all of your
soul, and all of your possessions.")
It is
generally helpful to try and develop a (personal) rational approach to the laws
of Lashon Hara. When someone is confronted with a situation in which he is
expected to speak derogatorily about someone, if he can respond with a simple
personal philosophy (or sometimes just enough self-confidence to convey
adherence to a personal philosophy), he will leave most of those situations
with others' respect intact. And in those situations which are not in the
"most" category, the best thing to do is remember the benefits that
accrue through hardship in observing this mitzvah.
7. Speaking Lashon Hara to Avoid Personal Dishonor
If
someone stands to lose personal honor by not speaking Lashon Hara, he must also
sustain the loss and remain silent. For example, if one is sitting in a group
speaking Lashon Hara, and he has no way to separate from them at the moment, he
cannot participate in their lively discussion.
This applies even if he will look like a simpleton or social clod. He
should try to hold himself back and remember the many sayings of the Sages
regarding his situation: "Better to be considered a fool in the eyes of
man throughout one's lifetime than as a wicked person in the eyes of G-d for
one moment (Eduyot 5:6)," "the reward is according to the effort
(Pirkei Avot/Ethics of the Fathers 5:25)," "one hundred times more in
hardship than without it (i.e. the reward is one hundred fold; Avot d'Rabbi
Natan)," and the Vilna Gaon who writes that "for every second that
one remains silent he will merit reward beyond the comprehension of any being,
even celestial."
8.
Various Methods of Conveying Lashon Hara
Whether
spoken, written, or hinted with gestures or any other way (if you looked at the
Rashi in Lev.
This
also applies if you weren't the writer of a piece disparaging someone. [Rabbi Pliskin elaborates on a footnote in
the Hebrew about the communication of Lashon Hara: showing a letter or other
writing (e.g. a newspaper) to belittle its writer would also be forbidden. I would anticipate that this would also apply
to footage in a film or other media.]
9.
Disparaging Yourself
Even if
you're disparaging yourself alongside the subject, it is prohibited. It doesn't matter if you look even worse than
the subject, and it doesn't matter if you mention yourself first. Rabbi Pliskin gives some nice examples:
Ben and I both shoplifted when we
were younger.
Nobody in our group studies Torah
properly.
It is also
forbidden to speak Lashon Hara about yourself.
Commandments Chapter 2Table of Contents
