From: pacbell [gevisser@pacbell.net]
Sent: Monday, August 12, 2002 6:22 PM
To: John Hess
Cc: Frevs. G; Guy Freidman; Kathy Murry; Kingdelmar; Randall; Royer; Senator_Lieberman; Vicky L. Schiff
Subject: RE: Perfect Storm? Fishing expedition... Feast of fools.

 

John hi – your question although short is not all that clear and requires more than a one sentence answer. You might have been better off asking me the time and then I would have forwarded your email to my stepfather Alan Zulman in England who when asked the time proceeds to tell you how to build a watch.

 

In a nutshell, I am just a guy with sum time on his hands, with needles to boot, trying though as best I can to stick to my knitting. I am not certain but I think I got your name off a list that was seeking support for sum Jewish cause labeled, URGENT UPDATE ON EUROPEAN UNION PROTEST.

 

I happen to think though that particular “call to arms” was tTOo little tTOo late. Back on October 18th 2000 just before the November presidential elections here in the United States I had written "a piece" [sic] titled Perspective One. The next day it appeared as though the Financial Times of London had picked up on sum of the stuff I had written when they talked about Israel’s plan to “Isolate the Palestinians.” At the time I was preparing for my New Beginnings Party to celebrate the start of my official retirement. There was no cake at the end but plenty of food for my Jewish friends and tons of alcohol for the goyim; mostly though my non-Jewish friends showed up.

 

Last night I happened to be watching CSPAN tTOo and there were these folks from a Jewish organization acting out just like what we used to see growing up in South Africa and they also didn’t seem to have any problem using the word “goyim” butt did they talk a lot of “sh-one-it” [sic] with everyone talking at the same time although there was one woman on the panel that managed to get in her pennies worth which made the most cents. Why they even bothered having an audience was beyond me. It was not, however, a live act although one of the guys on the far left of the panel could have eaten this not very Jewish looking woman seated next to him and no one to her left would have probably been the wiser. They all seemed way left of center AND of course like most Jewish people paranoid that finance reform will send them back to Egypt.

 

Had this guy who supposedly is affixed to a Catholic University not managed to consume her in one gulp then he could have left whatever remained tucked securely away in his chin that seemed to extend to his belly button. The way this guy was wringing his fingers kept me alert ready to dial 911 even though it said the show was first broadcast back on February 16th if I am not mistaken. There was, however, no mistaking this being a 3-ringed circus if there ever was such a thing, 3 ring binders an ingenious invention. Mr. Hess, if you decide to write in for a copy of this beastly fools act please order one for me and I will have it playing continuously on one of my websites that have yet “to be lunched” [sic].

 

Since leaving South Africa I have never been a member of any organized Jewish organization nor for that matter have I ever donated money to a Jewish charity other than the odd couple of bucks here and there. Just like I would do with any publicly traded company that I was serious about investing in, I would insist that all the top dogs lift up their skirts although my one buddy Newell Starks, a former officer of Citicorp Ventures would use the term, “kimonos.” Butt in the end not one Jewish organization that has ever approached me to donate money has been able to meet my requirements and that includes synagogues and groups like the Jewish Federation.

 

I actually ran into the President of one Jewish Federation group the other week while eating sushi across at the Plaza. I think she and her husband were from Phoenix; a really terrific couple and good looking to boot. We had a rather pleasant conversation despite the fact that her husband works mostly as a defense lawyer for publicly traded companies. We didn’t really talk much business since it became quickly apparent that there were issues of attorney-client and work product privileges, which could have been compromised if we continued to talk about Ronald “The Finagle King” Perelman in particular.

 

Only as they were finishing their meal did the lady inform me that she was the President of I think the Phoenix Federation letting me know though that she wasn’t prepared to subject herself to my “Jew diligence” [sic.]. Her husband though smiled from ear to ear for the first time since I gave him my discourse of why publicly traded companies will inevitably be a thing of the past. He was smart to pick up on the fact that if I got my way folks like him would continue to make a living defending organizations like the Jewish Federation who don’t provide not even the bare essentials such as financial statements of those calling the shots; they just wouldn’t vacation as often in places like Del Mar.

 

You have probably worked out by now that I have no certifications to speak of butt I have a keen sense of smell. Perhaps, it has to do with the size of my nose butt for some reason it hasn’t stopped me from being attracted to the best looking women in the universe. My mother though trained pretty good-looking women with a Miss World and Miss Universe “under her pelt” [sic] to boot. I saw a program last night on TV that dates back to the beginning of the film age and they showed a high speed camera that was revolutionary for its time taking footage of smoke that was being blown directly on to the blades of an electric fan. It was quite amazing. Each turn of the blade caused the smoke to spiral every “byte like our universe” [sic]. So I got thinking to myself what if there is someone out there just with a chopper going, “Okay, lets see how this one works out.” With all the energy we waste this could keep him going another trillion years certainly as long as it is going to take to eliminate the national debt let alone balance our trade deficit with the French terrorist sponsored countries, publicly traded companies like Vivendi to boot.

 

As a kid I was always fascinated with making rings when smoking a cigarette. Hot air though doesn’t quite do it for me.

 

By the way in the previous email I made reference to these youngsters who use “an electric saw” to chisel bears from trees when in fact they actually use chain saws. Technology does work sometimes for the better and I am assuming these are not endangered trees. More importantly, though, our youth who are our future AND are in no way shape or form responsible for this mess are at the greatest risk of imploding not just in the Middle East; just look around the neighborhood and if you live anywhere along the U.S. Mexican border you will know what I mean. When last were you in downtown San Diego just a hop jump and scotch from "Tear-y-mama" [sic] a prison and La Jolla.

 

Every so often I buy a book although I read very little and it has been at least 5 years since I finished any book I started. Mostly I just page through looking for the pictures or drawings and if there is a graph then I might spend a good few minutes looking at it. I did manage, however, to get through the first 3 pages of Christopher Byron’s MARTHA INC. Now Martha happens to be a director of Revlon Corporation which is the flagship of Mr. Ronald “O. Ring” Perelman’s stable. She has in fact been a director since 1996. Mr. Byron has written many things about the “Bald headed Pig”  and was in fact the first to coin the phrase, Ronald “The Finagle King” Perelman.

 

It was in fact one of Byron’s articles about “the boy who wanted it all, t-one-ts & just arse” [sic] that appeared in the NY Observer which first got my attention that there was the possibility to give it to Perelman where the sun don’t shine. AND I am pretty certain he isn’t that much of a man. And if I needed to prove my point I would simply have my lawyer-colleagues send out his ex-wives a bunch of very simple interrogatories to fill out and when deposition time came along I would then bring along the rocking chair sued for nursing I recently bought. AND will they sing!

 

It so happens that on the day I was in this local consignment store I ran into a very attractive wasp looking South African lady and we recognized each other’s accents. She had in fact just come back from South Africa where she had visited with Penny Coelen who was Miss World 1958.

 

Mr. Hess, Penny is the one with more goose bumps showing. I am the one who counted accurately to 3. It is possible that my eldest brother also got the count right but we don’t know for certain since his hands are hidden. I have yet to see a bad picture of either my mother or any of her models and make no mistake my mother can add perhaps not as well as my travel companion butt then again my mother is in her early seventies. Whatever excuses my mother might have for missing things these days it is unlikely she would suffer from a degenerative disease like Alzheimers. Not that I think smart people cannot get these crippling diseases I just the think the odds are very slim against someone who has an IQ that is off the charts.

 

My eldest brother is bright butt math isn’t his strong suit butt certainly he is good with blank verse; none of us however, can “quiet right” [sic] as well as our mother although my math and chess playing abilities today are probably better than all my immediate family members combined butt I wouldn’t bet against them unless one had  everything including the kitchen sink stacked up ready to go. They are tough.

 

Now when I first contacted Mr. Byron I was kinda surprised that he was rather “look warm” [sic] towards me. I even provided him with some real credentials although Jeffrey Krinsk doesn’t exactly carry his law degree certificates on his lapels. So when I started reading the Prologue it didn’t take me long to figure things out; in fact the first 6 words, “It was the autumn of 1999…”  had me fixated as long as it took me to read the next 3 pages.

 

Mr. Hess I am using this opportunity to suggest to all my lawyer-colleagues involved in this case that in deciding who to subpoena for deposition that serious consideration be given to both Mr. Byron and Ms. Martha Stewart. I am an not as much interested in whether they had sex together as I am in finding out what could possibly have happened while they played footsie footsie while breaking bread together during their first encounter; to find out exactly what was said about all the other things these two had “in common” and in what context would Mr. Byron have questioned Ms. Stewart’s experiences during the 3 years she strode alongside Mr. “Grab It All While You Can” Perelman.

 

Oh, Mr. Byron you never knew that Ms. “Make It All Up” [non-sic] Stewart was director of Revlon Corporation since 1996; are you telling me Mr. Byron that you never read Revlon’s 10Ks, what about the 10K1s you know the one I think it was the 1988 10K1 filing but I could be mistaken.

 

I think it will be quite sumthing to see Mr. Byron squirm as he tries to answer the question of why in an article he wrote in early August 1999, August 8th to be precise about Ms. Stewart’s pending public offering he never once brings up her being a director of this massive “make up” [sic] company which is controlled by a man he dubbed “The Finagle King.” In fact, I think it would be much more interesting to watch on a split screen the same series of questions being asked of both Ms. Stewart and Mr. Byron than it was to see Microsoft’s Bill Gates. For starters Bill Gates is an pretty ugly guy even under the best light.

 

There is no reference in Mr. Byron’s article to anything relating to Revlon or her being a director of any other rapacious company although this Stewart woman has certainly been around the block and certainly she knows her way around walk street, hustler extraordinaire. On the other hand it is of course possible that I missed something. Currently Mr. Hess I am working on now lets see…16 different “war fronts” and it is possible I might make a mistake or tTOo along the way. Please let me know if you can help in any way, at least correct my spelling.

 

Mr. Byron does though use the word “good” twice in this article that was written around the time he and I first communicated before the deafening silence. Soon we are going to see who exactly is the most nuts amongst us to mention who has the “kahunas” to mention little of the “Kohanim” you know those supposedly righteous of all the Jews who are meant to stand tall butt for some reason when they get in front of the torah they cover their faces. Now where is it written in the ten commandments that the high priests should cover up?

 

Who the heck introduced this robe business in the first place?

 

Mr. Hess, I must tell you though I am still wanting to find a way to get someone to produce these delicious peanut-butter-chocolate coated sweets called Knuts which look exactly like a peanut shell. Did you know that the Shell Oil company was started by a Jewish man who walked the shores of Japan and liked what he saw? I learned about this by attending a church service at Beth El in La Jolla on one Yom Kippur while the rabbi mostly talked about himself.

 

It is possible that this Jewish man, the entrepreneur, not the Rabbi, may have become distracted by the “Goyas” [sic]. Perhaps he saw more opportunity running brothels than in pulling dead liquid out of the ground that might be the substance that turns the earth around? Have you measured lately the speed at which the earth is turning, to mention little of my hope that we get a more accurate reading soon of the speed of light; 186,000 miles per second doesn’t cut it for me, not even close.

 

By the way my step-father’s not-so-poor relations started this chocolate and candy company that first produced this amazing chocolate butt recently Beacon sold the machine to a “foreign company.” Hopefully, it wasn’t the French who by the time we are done with them will owe the United States enough money that will allow those of us living in California a place to go rent free while we give back our State to the Mexicans.

 

You are not sure whether I am kidding, right? By the way my step-father is not exactly poor but everything is relative.

 

His first cousin’s father which I guess is his uncle, gave him the seed capital to become one of the youngest multimillionaires in the country. My mother made him bring his credit card with him when he decided to become an English gentleman. My mother had a farm house and now they have an estate which I might yet get my hands on.

 

I guess you might be also interested to know that I have never taken a dime from my parents since age 17 other than them providing me with board and lodging while I “escaped” the Nazi military machine by attending “varsity if dead.” Now the reason I mention this is because you might decide at some point to make a contribution to “my causes” which may very well be different to “their causes” and as you surely know it is now becoming quite apparent that we don’t come from some “tree standard” but much closer to a “bush.”

 

Now there may be some things this president is doing that sum might consider to be in the bush league butt he gets full marks from me. Certainly, by now those of us who really understand the markets, to mention just in passing Chaos Theory better than what anyone else has described, know full well where we would be if Gore Lieberman where manning the port holes.

 

Can you imagine if someone where to dip Lieberman’s cigar in brandy while someone else swapped out the Bores best hash with some Durban Poison? Even if this President were not doing cocaine how much faster could he possibly be going? Remember once we run out Taliban and the offense contractors cannot get the green light to produce more bombs and ammunitions guess where do you think the stock market would head? By the way have you yet been to the head today?

 

Rest assured though we at Next...Trial have solutions. In time we will have the right “horses for courses” and corrupt politicians and their handlers to boot far out to sea; Cayman Islands comes to mind butt on second thoughts the kids like the fresh sea water, so lets just get them to build pyramids in TimbuktTOo and then charge their families who want to visit. We could have pyramid scheme that essentially become a perpetual motion machine.

 

We should though do a better job of cleaning up the surf and to heck with all those who fake it. No doubt you know given the list of names I think you were attached to where the word “heck” comes from. Butt just assuming you didn’t know anything about the schmutter business and for all the rest of my serfing buddies, the word “heck” comes from the word “heckle” which is a pin like device designed by men to inflict pain on politicians as in the emperor has no clothing.

 

I was thinking of suggesting to the South African Government amongst a host of measures to balance their “deficit training” to reintroduce “stockgates”? where wrongdoers get the tomatoe treatment. Now, if they put these block like devices where folks stick out just their heads and limbs on wheels they could go neighborhood by neighborhood, street by street and while they are at they could also sell advertising space.

 

I think even if the current South African government who have done an excellent job of catering to a handful of not-that-bright whites simply had mock ones built, the white folks would get the message. Most Jewish white folk I know, especially the ones who eat kosher but love their “mock crayfish” who despite the tremendous difficulty they have simply reading the writing even when it is written clearly will get this message;

 

Hey brother give me your sister or your mother or your father… butt really all we want is to be treated right and not to assume just because our current government are brain dead that we have forgotten what made them so.

 

So please open your hearts, invest those ill-gotten gains you have siphoned offshoe-r and return them back to our shores and invest with us, teach us, we have no where else to go unlike you Yiddisha boys who keep coming and leaving day in and day out taking with you what is not exactly your birth right, wouldn’t you agree? OR we will have your butts?…

 

What, you think this is a card game? What the heck do you mean you are playing for “stoch?” At what point is enough enough for you rapacious beasts?

 

So Mr. Hess, how nutty do you think folks like “Rapacious Kosher-Perelman will try and paint me? How do you think he and his minions will try and get around the hard evidence that encircles him and many others I have painstakingly gone to bat with during the past decade? I haven’t exactly been asleep at the wheel, wouldn’t you agree?

 

When I first moved to California in the early 1980s I stayed in an apartment in south Mission Bay the first building on the left as you go by the roller coaster. At the base of the roller coaster I recently saw this ride for kids that has these boats going around in circles on about 6 inches of water. The kids have 3 choices; ring a bell, turn a wheel that is connected to nothing or if they are ambidextrous they could possibly do both. I think you may be getting a sense of what my email to South Africa’s Minister of Finance is going to be all about.

 

I do have to rap this up shortly. It is going on 5pm PST and I have quite a few other things to do butt when I am on a roll I can get tTOo sometimes accomplish more than one thing at once. And trust me I have other things going on right now, most important though I need to hit the surf at least an hour before sunset. I need those rays especially the positive and negative stuff coming out of the sun that keeps me most in balance. I think it is called something like “bi-polar.”

 

Just wait though to see what we have in store for psychologists and their drug pushing psychiatrists although there are no doubt many who mean well. Certainly, those who work with Israeli special forces particularly those in commando groups like Flotilla 13 know the importance of positive motivation and the benefits that accrue especially when the boys make it out alive and there have been few casualties in Israeli special forces, the same unfortunately cannot be said for our American special forces brothers.

 

Last night I saw another program on TV about the training of American special forces if they were to be captured. These folks simply need to communicate better with their Israeli allies because even the best of the very best will eventually break if they are up against professionals. All that is important is that they hold their breath for 24 hours immediately after being captured. If one lives each day like it is one’s last one can survive at least one fall and have another crack at the bat.

 

Some of what I have just said may have in fact been repeated but I am not even going to bother with checking what I have written since I have a dinner date in less than an hour and a half and I still need to get my time in the surf. So if you are in the neighborhood around 15th street come on down.

 

By the way I have never been a part of any military organization nor have I done any work for any military contractor, certainly not knowingly. I do, however, surround myself with the very best and brightest in all spheres and until such time as we find a way for us all to unite unfortunately there are still going to wars to sought out bad guys brought up on justice bought, motorskills to refine, boats to boot, sails and trains to embrace.

 

Wars will continue until such time as we find a way to mend fences and the toughest fences to mend are those closest to home. It is the internecine fighting that is the bloodiest and the least civil. Time to take a step back in  time, dueling may be one way butt surely we will find some other way than to do tear each other apart.

 

We started out as one butt we have angled tTOo far apart, time to reel in. Butt tis also time to own up to past wrongs. There isn’t a sole amongst us who hasn’t screwed up butt sum have taken much more than what was fair. Saying sorry isn’t good enough. We should keep things simple butt no one is stupid. Certainly, I am not stupid; nor are the people around me deaf and dumb.

 

It is time for everyone to take a deep breath and start thinking straight, not worrying about what the next person is doing but to do what they think is right. No one needs to talk to anyone butt themselves to know that there is a very powerful voice in the back of each of our heads that says we are pretty lucky to be breathing. AND if we are hearing something than there is the good possibility someone else is talking.

 

So, Mr. Hess, what do you think the South African community who live so well outside of South Africa should do in terms of their comeuppance? I am assuming you have some affinity with the folks from back there; certainly I don’t suspect you are part of the SS. Now just relax, remember there are 2S’ in Gevisser, so at least we have that in common.

 

Mr. Byron in his “cum on” [sic] article back on August 8th 1999 referred to Ms. Stewart as “good-looking” and then at the end he wishes her “Good Luck.” Ms. Stewart’s PR person couldn’t have written a more positive, “bull-sh-one-it” [sic] article.

 

Side note to my lawyer-colleagues: Hey guys on second thoughts don’t worry about adding “By-e-ron and Stew-wart” [sic] to the deposition list, I will just at sum point forward this email to one of the Fox networks and have someone with more credentials and better looking than me ask the same questions in my words or less. To make it easy on them they can just save themselves the cost of buying the book, less monies for her lawyers to throw more “sh-one-it” [sic] on to the barbecue by clicking on Martha Inc's front flap, showing off Martha Inc's inside flaps examining  Martha Inc's back cover her anus to boot as her asinine  boyfriend checked her with an imperfect dedication before moving to the Prologue - page 1 & 3 & 4 be4 no doubt eventually scratching her up every which way humanly possible without it being called a rape. Should either of their bank of lawyers wish to discuss my having infringed any copywrongs blah blah blah just direct them to join me in the serf and they had better come properly suited down as the temperature continues to rise. Give them also a heads up that I will not give them much more than one shot to prove their muscle. AND should they need Viagra, Sammy who lives above The Cave is all loaded up butt if they want to talk with me they had better bring cash butt in the end they tTOo will be cashiered and Martha may get to count her blessings if I let her play host for one day greeting my customers at the SeaChange Café in Minehead England. I have yet to inform my lawyers in England how I plan to take title to this property, any suggestions? I think I should at least set aside an area for plaques dedicated to those who made my life worth living for, hoping though to die peacefully after having had a cup of tea and scones followed up with an amazing inside curl that goes on endlessly. Who knows we all might in short order resolve all the “h-E-ron problems of the word” [sic] butt don’t anyone of you hold your breath; I’ll let you know when I think it is safe to breath freely. I am working on developing my gills. I hope to at least become a certified diver before my time is up. My hope is that whoever is s-tear-ING this pot is doing it in the “write direction” [sic].

 

Mr. Hess my email list back in the fall of 1999 which was pretty much the same size as it was at the time of my New Beginnings Party was not as big as it is today because I never actually got to begin my retirement. One of my surfer buddies who showed up for the party put me in touch with this young lady Vicky Schiff who convinced me that her cause was more important than my going to places like South Georgia Island, surfing Fiji, wrestling an alligator in Australia although I know it is only cockatiels that try the most to protect their young.

 

Someone I know rather well once said, “When my children were young I just wanted to eat them and then when they got older I wish I had.”

 

And so for the past 2 odd years I have trekked behind Ms. Schiff helping her slay dragon after dragon all while having a jolly good time. The money I probably could have done without since it now requires that I file tax returns. In fact I had communicated with the IRS that I would have my 2000 tax return in their hands by today and that isn’t going to happen for I have yet to even begin.

 

It should be rather easy though since I had an uninvited visitor check out my cave on my last trip to South America who made off with a whole bunch of documents including receipts and most of the time I pay cash. Nothing very earth shattering. I am hoping though as part of an array of suggestions as well as income stream potential for our websites to offer folks like the IRS a far better way of balancing the budget. It will become much easier as the markets get back into balance and wars become a lost cause.

 

And even if they are at first a little apprehensive to embrace the far reaching changes I think are necessary just like the president has yet to call for a suspension of trading of public companies then I will most certainly come up with a creative way to pay off any debt they might think I owe. I am told the IRS pays folks something in the range of 10% for helping them collect monies owed from taxpayers who haven’t been paying their fare share. I would probably just take 5% and let them use the other 5% to reduce the national debt.

 

This “Wetherly” [sic] distraction did in fact have other blessings linked; for one thing it got me to become laser focused on working on a solution to help solve the worlds problems. My folks in England have an outgoing answering message that says, “Sorry we are out solving the problems of the world..” butt I didn’t see much good coming from those words and besides it is an old joke one first put out by some former partners of mine who were and still are the best of the best. I give folks just enough to give them a kick-start and then I move on butt I am known to come back once in a while. Go omni-ontheball.cum.

 

So I started to look more closely at the words people used, that it is the words that kill while sticks and stones mainly cause bruises. And so it seemed to me that by attacking “the problems of the word” [non-sic], starting with those closest to me who had a problem in choosing their words carefully, then maybe I could “kill two birds with one stone” although I never quite got why us English used expressions that somehow seemed so violent. The French equivalent is “two hits one stone.”

 

Life it seems is all about distracting one’s opponent, one next-door neighbor, the teachers and of course our parents. The best chess players seem to be the ones who succeed the most, especially those who understand that the game is all about getting your opponent to play to your advantage. Mr. Hess, please forgive for copying just a couple of law firms I do business on this email as my time is rather short right now and besides I am into efficiencies and besides if the worst comes to the worse and you need to change your email address, send me bill and I will gladly pay you for your time. Obviously I am not going to pay you to read this stuff since you always have the option of hitting the delete button.

 

So from Vicky Schiff, I then moved over to our Senator Lieberman who I consider one of the worst of the worst certainly he could do with getting rid of all that “chicken sh-one-t” [sic] around his neck.

 

My Call to arms way back when was in no small measure to address the “indifference of man” more so than woman butt there are many women around who have just as much testosterone running through their veins as the guys they drool over at the gyms.

 

Just to give you more of a full picture from where I come. First I am not into tilting windmills but I will be taking issue with the lawyers who handled the estate of my friend Anne L. Miller who left me the painting signed by Vi Miller. I actually began my “indifference” crusade in earnest on December 1st 2000 to coincide with the anniversary of the death of David Ben Gurion, Israel’s first prime minister.

 

My mini series was directed at Randall Kaplan who was the co-founder of a company called Akamai, which is lucky in Hawaiian. The shareholders in his company though were not so lucky. Nevertheless I invited Randall as well as his lawyers to come to my party. He did not show up although he could have come in disguise as there were quite a few people I had never met before. Since I had never met the guy, which the Wall Street Journal back in late December 1999 had referred to as “One lucky Guy” I doubt that he would have found the need to cross dress but certainly he would have looked stressed and everyone I saw was having a great time.

 

I think the headline had the word “Digits” thrown in. A few days later, on December 31st 1999 Akamai’s stock hit an all time high of some $345 [one half the collapse of “h-E-ron” [sic]…people in Glass houses should be more careful.] I just checked on Yahoo to see what it is closed at. 96 cents seems a little cheap butt I wouldn’t argue with my computer settings although I continue to have problems with my computer.

 

I have in fact been out of the market since the beginning of the year and if you had been on a very select email list you probably would have been out of the market before I left for my first trip to South America in late February. Vicky Schiff was on that list and I would assume she followed my advice. Certainly up until that time she followed pretty much all my advice, certainly as it related to the financial advice I had given her. She attended business school not quite the same as The Durban Charm School where us guys hung out always remembering to pull our punches, pillow fights to boot. I once met one of her professors at a restaurant in Beverly Hills, Trader sumthing, butt I don’t recall us talking business, big numbers but when one is out and about one shouldn’t talk business for one thing it is rude to the other folks who could care less; more importantly you never know who is listening in.

 

This guy has no idea what I was all about and how I might use that information to make another buck or tTOo. Butt he doesn’t need to worry since I simply wouldn’t be so dumb as to listen to anything any professor other than one that I had checked out from top to bottom, taking him-her through labyrinth after making sure they can at least tell the time and have some sense of how the person in their company values their time.

 

Why would you just start talking to anyone unless you have a very clear agenda which is exactly how I operate. Talk is cheap unless the words are weighed very carefully.

 

I couldn’t figure out why he thought she was so smart just because she graduated from a business school which I doubt is different to any other fukukta business school where all they teach is how to make falafel a hundred different ways and then they go back to the way our forefather’s made the stuff and then charge us an arm and a leg for all the brain matter that they lost doing all the different permutations ++++ including the cost of perms and nails, polishing though is the key to matter and to the things that matter most like making certain the kids have a polished image to look at each and every day which is what my two step kids have at least when they are with their mother.

 

I don’t wake up with their father so I wouldn’t know.

 

My mini series mentioned just 3 other companies I thought were worth paying serious attention; Leucadia National Corporation [LUK], Chase Brass Industries [CSI] and of course Revlon [REV]. I happened to have caught all of them either at their highs or lows, so much so that if you had invested just $500 and spread them amongst these four companies, that is $125 on average a piece you could have made for yourself a cool $250K which is what one friend of mine who I gifted $500 managed to do. Were I not preoccupied with Ms. Schiff and to a far lesser extent keeping tabs on Jeffrey Krinsk of Finkelstein & Krinsk the IRR would have probably increased considerably.

 

I have never been though a pig at the trough and to prove this I never sold shorted Vivendi’s stock when I knew for certain back in late December of last year they were in very serious trouble nor for that matter Ms. Stewarts. None of my information that I have used in doing my “Jew diligence” [sic] has been based on so-called inside information, not even close. I have far tTOo much to lose.

 

Loose lips though do sink ships and we have been having quite a considerable amount of rock falls here in Del Mar to mention just in passing Anne Miller’s double lot that sold for about 33% below market value, so much so that the new owner probably has positive cash flow from renting out the tiny house which is no more than about 600 sq/ft about a third less than the size of my one bedroom apartments which I still have in Santa Monica.

 

Why anyone would leave about $600K on the table is anyone’s guess especially when I said I would purchase the property for the appraised value which I subsequently found out was $1.5 million. Each day I go by to  check to see that the mailbox with the numbers 321 hasn’t been removed, to mention little of her amazing cacti and I do miss her. Every time though I go visit with Jeffrey Krinsk and Campbell Soup I go check on her grave over at the Rosencranz military cemetery and my Pypeetoe dashes out of the car and finds his mark every time. 

 

Dogs are really not allowed in this area butt I am willing to pay the fine and to deal in time with any of these folks when my time comes. With the high water mark rising I even considered buying a home on the water. I even looked into the castle down in San Diego bay, which was up for sale for a place to at least store my art if things get tTOo rough around the neighborhood butt it wasn’t meant to be.

 

I have actually never bought a property with a for sale sign figuring that if someone cannot sell was is in most cases their most important physical asset then there must be something missing and by the time the brokers, the appraisers and THE ESTATE lawyers have thrown their dirty dotty sticky fingers in the mix one could end up with a bloody mess, bloody Mary’s to boot.

 

Mr. Hess, you may have notice the dress that my travel companion was wearing the other night. It was one of the Andy “War-hole’s” [sic] series. It was white and red with the words GLASS written all over it. Everywhere we moored that night it was an attention getter. It tTOo is for sale although again I would need to confirm this with her.

 

Mr. Hess you should know that I only mean well and that I come in "piece" [sic]. I also believe there is light at the end of the rainbow, certainly that was the case on the Argentinean side of the Igazu Falls.

 

No doubt, there are some folks that would prefer that I just rock on. I don’t know, however, of any Gevissers who could have become rock stars butt there are still 10 of us and who knows by the time I am finished critiquing my one cousin who is writing an autobiography of South Africa’s current prime minister he may decide to give up the “gay life and beard and head” [sic] for the hills singing, 123…

 

Actually, I have no idea whether he wears a beard or for that matter what he looks like butt I assume he has a good sense of humor and if not he shouldn’t have trouble spelling it out to me. I think it is though important that we do all find the time including the “La-Jaw-la” [sic] folks “to jawl.” The expression “To go jawl” is South African slang for to party hi, by bye.

 

Gary

 

Ps – there were about 360 folks copied on that last email which you received. Only one person responded asking me to take them off the list. This is probably the 3rd time Professor Black has requested that I do so. His counterpart, Professor Grundfest, the former chairman of the SEC has been far more gracious in his replies, about the same number of words though. In time I hope Professor Black will also come a-round. My whole goal is that we start to get folks to remove their masks. Every so often I use my sharp calculator from high school to stay sharp. It has a button you push in from the side that I use on occasion to help keep track of seconds when clients call.

 

Since returning from my most recent trip to South America with all sorts of goodies including a collection of hour glasses with all different colored sand I rarely use the calculator and I don’t wear a watch unless attending a very important meeting like the one I attended on February 8th up in Los Angeles in the “Word Savings” [sic] in west LA, corner of Wiltshire and San Vicente; I don’t think it is for sale, yet.

 

Most of the time I use the yellow stone hourglass, which lasts about 30 seconds. Rarely do my calls last much longer unless it is the executor of my estate and then it lasts generally around 3 minutes. Sometimes like earlier today when I had two gentleman call me about another estate matter I pull out the calculator and press the white button each time the sand runs out. Butt I am not charging for these services  Butt there will be “mourning tomorrow” [sic] and then the sun will rise again and again until such time as the alternating kicks in right and then we are on our own, lead batteries a thing of the past.

 

I did in fact start this email several hours ago butt there have been many interruptions including calls from people interested in renting a one bedroom unit I have in Santa Monica that becomes available at the beginning of next month. So if you know of anyone interested in this unit please let me know. There may in fact be another two-bedroom two-bath unit becoming available October 1st if the current tenant doesn’t go along with that increase.

 

Unless I hear “otherweiss” [sic] I will continue to keep you as well as Professor Black and everyone else copied on the previous email “newly informed.”

 

Oh, by the way if one particular lawyer colleague happens to call then I start calibrating the hour glasses as we are both capable of playing pong for hours on end.

 

Now if you are single I could tell you more about some of the other folks also copied on these emails. Guy Friedman is, however, taken for. He is a long time buddy who provides with me protection and money when I need it + free laundry services on the odd occasion when I visit Los Angeles.

 

Just in case you may be interested I sold nearly 50 lbs of the swordfish to friends and neighbors including a president of one stellar New York Stock Exchange Company who once made the mistake of hiring me. Both of us though in the end got our monies worth and then sum.

 

My day was also interrupted by my travel companion dropping off my Pypeetoe CD which you will be able to hear one of these days on the www.Nextraterrestrial.com website when you click on to Page 1. Our get together lasted all of 15 minutes during which time she guided me once again in the “write direction” [non-sic]…as it pertained to matters that matter most, our kids.

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: John Hess [mailto:jmh@compucycle.net]
Sent: Monday, August 12, 2002 6:06 AM
To: pacbell
Subject: Re: Perfect Storm? Fishing expedition... Feast of fools.

 

Hi Gary,  Who are you?

----- Original Message -----

From: pacbell

 

To: Gg

Cc: Vicky L. Schiff ; Senator_Lieberman ; Royer ; Randall ; Kingdelmar ; Kathy Murry ; Guy Freidman ; Frevs. G

Sent: Saturday, August 10, 2002 5:06 PM

Subject: Perfect Storm? Fishing expedition... Feast of fools.

 

Attention everyone including the French folks now calling the shots across the bow at Vivendi – Hot Water Cold Front…

 

 

DEATH

 

A death doesn’t make a winter,

butt, it can chill a summer [sic].

 

Cunning Linguist – page 36. 

 

Beware !

 

“The Boxer

is about

to hit you

with his write trunk” [non-sic].

 

Cunning Linguist – inside cover.

 

 

The Gevisser-Dion clan of Del Mar, California have fresh swordfish for sale harpooned around 48 hours ago. It’s going fast at $8.50 per pound [fillet]. It was caught by my 9 year old step-son Jonathan who is constantly one step ahead of me just like his mother, my French Canadian travel companion. Jonathan figured out early in life that sheep wouldn’t be fooled by wolf donning a sheep’s skin jacket as in the expression, “Beware of the wolf…” and questions everything unlike most typical South Africans who were a little slow out of the starting gates. His mother though, a math wizard without any lazy bones AND little makeup to speak of makes up and then sum for my lack of formal education which I never allowed to interfere with my learning. I still haven’t figured out though why Philip Morris with a 36% interest in Miller Brewing along with it’s supposed “rights of first refusal” would allow South African Breweries, a remnant of the brain dead during the Apartheid years to get another crack at the brass ring to mention in passing Vivendi’s 63% ownership in U.S. Filter which seems to filter everything from here to TimbuktTOo. The world does seem a little top heavy, topsy turvy, curvy.

 

The fish weighed in at 450 lbs and we bought 100lbs. Jonathan’s mother and I are selling the fish at our cost, $6 per pound plus $2.50 for shrinkage butt no charge for the labor involved with the cutting and shrink-wrap. She did an excellent job of cutting most if not all of the red spots away and I did an okay job of wrapping the perfectly cut pieces in plastic wrap before placing them in freezer bags. The fish has yet to be frozen. All told it took about 2 hours with just a little break towards the end for some wine, music AND she can dance circles around me and draw and paint tTOo boot.

 

There is only about 10 lbs left and “first cum first served” [sic] and we will not discriminate based on your dress code, butt come dressed. We have a teenager in the house. You will have to move fast. In the interests of full and fair disclosure, since I first broadcast the catch yesterday at 10:53 am PST, we found out that the fish was in fact harpooned to death. It did not, however, drown butt still not quite the same death as a chicken “witch has its neck snapped back, hair to burn Dutch sandwich wedged in and around the short hairs, grease marks ad-infinitum” [sic]. Although this is the best catch I have ever tasted I was starting to feel a little queasy before the feast last night. Fortunately, it was served up with compliments to die from and it had nothing to do with smell. It smells just like fresh uni, digits to embrace, not even the blood smells fishy. The dogs though have had a feast on all the scraps. Nothing went to waste, one man’s trash is a dog’s best friend. Please don’t be a fool though and show up without first checking in to see what’s available.

 

There are, however, other items available for sale including the Bears in front of the house and so is the house although I don’t have permission from the owner. The bears which were my gift are chiseled out of wood using an electric saw. We do have a deal with the kids who do these amazing carvings for a living. I believe in backing pretty much any entrepreneur under age 22 as long as they show initiative and have a broad smile. After 22 things start to go haywire, lots of cycles in the quest to own lots and lots to be so-called “victorious.” V is the 22nd letter in the English Alphabet and V is the stock symbol for Vivendi BUTT we will be victorious against this monster.

 

I couldn’t find a picture of the 4 bears, a father and mother bear with two baby bears. The father weighs in I am told at over 700 lbs. But I do have a picture of the Gevisser-Beare after the bear-hug. Neither of these two guys, however, are for sale, nor are they gay. At the right price just about everything else “is t-hough-t-si” [sic code] for sale baby!  

 

Anyone interested can reach me by email as I am currently on the road operating wireless. The pictures below give you sense of the most beautiful specimen ha-r-meyed to death just before a Perfect Storm hit the shores. Please make note of the color, a shade better than Love That Pink lipstick 

 

Gary

 

Exhibits:

Fish platter A

Fish platter B

Fish platter C

Fish platter D

Fish platter E

Fish platter F

Fish platter G

Fish platter H

Fish platter I

Fish platter J

Fish platter K

 

Make a bid A

Make a bid B

Make a bid C

Make a bid Miklis Model D

 

 

Ps: You can check out more family photos including other items on sale by clicking on the hyperlinks below to mention little of our gangs “bottoms up” schooling. Pay no attention to the “friendly fire” email I sent yesterday around Shabbas time South Africa to the assistant of South Africa’s Finance Minister who had spent part of the week checking out stock in Singapore. The previous day I had sent her an email that read;

 

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: pacbell [mailto:gevisser@pacbell.net]
Sent: Friday, August 09, 2002 10:53 AM
To: Patti. Smith
Subject: Fishing expedition

 

Patti hi – I just came across a photo that seems to sit well with most folks I know. Back when I first met the minister I had him autograph an exact copy. Like any good photo-painting it is all in the shadows. In this photo though there is a lot that could be gleamed from the dress code. I am in to angled lines, particularly triangles and seeing what causes folks to make wrong turns time and time again without much consideration toward taking a different path, avoiding the constant looking over the shoulders to see who is coming up behind as we head over the cliff, making quite a splash. AND no doubt back to the year dot where we were all one, perhaps more than a thousand points of light to boot. I drive very little these days and I am in the process of selling two cars that I have yet to take title to. One is a Mercedes black 380 SL. The flyer in the window refers to it as a BEACH CRUISER and of course the seaweed goes with the car. While body surfing the other day these two pieces of seaweed which were attached by fishing line got caught in my mouth. Now I have a sense of what a fish feels before it gets served up on a plate.

 

Titles and cars should both be a thing of the past, all, however, “in jew course” [sic]. Despite my dislike for blood, particularly its taste I am very into color. As you may know, artist-painters don’t consider Black nor White a color. This photo was taken at what is called Blacks Beach which is right below La Jolla, the next town south of Del Mar where I live. Quite a few ex-South Africans live in that neck of the woods. Del Mar is more “subjewed butt it seems to be having more rock falls” [sic]. “We will, we will, rock you…” Time to get rid of all Kings to mention in passing Queen’s rock beat on the NextraTerrestrial website.

 

Perhaps the trains that run on top of the cliffs in our area have something to do with all the rock falls, a sign of all the chaos in the world, that things are about to change, all for the better, no doubt. I do, however, really like the sound of the train. It makes me think clearer, distracting me from looking at all the suntanned women, although I am mostly in to natural, low chroma paintings, women tTOo. Women will eventually rule and the men will learn to stay in line, do the grocery shopping and most of all pay better attention. Men do, however, listen better than most women gives us credit for.

 

Only as we move away from both white and black do we get to see and enjoy the richness of the full color spectrum. I sent an email out earlier this week on this subject matter titled; What's in a name? came on the “heels” of a report the Fox Network broadcast of an artist friend of mine who this past Saturday had an art exhibition opening in the next town north of where I live where even quieter folk than us Delmartians hang out, most though seem to have more than "tTOo gods, sum even have dalmatians which probably contribute to the numbing of our 6th senses." [sic]. See New Beginnings Party #2 celebrations to get glimpses of the fun we all had.

 

Gary

 

p.s  I just got news that a boatload of fresh swordfish which “my Jonathan” and his Dad caught during the past 3 days of fishing has arrived in San Diego. At $6 a pound it is going to go fast. Time to esc-ape.