Professor do you need a crutch, okay how about you simply scratching your tochas or do you simply need a torch to light you up? Please take note of the spotlighted section of the rock. Could it be that there is a progression of "scratches" looking at the rock from right to left culminating in a Star of David?

Take off your boots, put your feet up on your desk, wiggle your toes but should you need to take a leak try not to pee on your toes. I have an Italian Greyhound whose name is Pypeetoe. The Py comes from his Pythagorean "right angle" markings to mention little of his ability to perform acts that have yet to performed in Cirque du Soleil and we are only talking about when he is stationary, wait to you see him in motion. Most guys only dream about such flexibility in arching their spine. The "peetoe" is because he continues to pee on his toes.

In other words, your continued silence causes us to ask why would you still bark up the wrong tree. Flexibility is everything when clinging to a dying branch, wouldn’t you agree? So what do you think the odds of us being served up as pudding to the ants. If we continue to futz along though with black tinted sunglasses it seems hell will freeze over unless you start clicking your heals and paying more attention.

Professor, don't despair, this is just us warming up for the "War Games to end all wars." We would love to hear from you just so that we can scratch you off the list. At this time we plan to start our long-term peace effort by waging war on several different fronts. One less would mean more resources available to devote to some of the more important battles. In all likelihood the number of battle fronts will increase before we all begin to see light at the end of the wave at which time we hope to surf up great a feast, certainly tea and scones with jam to boot. Some of us are into extreme sports but all of us are optimists, while flushing out folks who whisper things in one person's ear knowing perfectly well that what comes out on the other end is rarely a blast of fresh air.

Keep clicking on the Gs until you get to the "Jiggley chewing gun-rapping" [sic] which suggests that before rapping on about something, chew on your words, digest their impact, be willing to commit to paper otherwise simply toss the thought in to the trashcan. Once you say anything to anyone it is no longer a secret and you might as well stay home than go into a crowded place; "two is company teas a party" [sic].

Each of us carries a built-in garbage disposal unit. The more exercise we do, the more we twist and turn the more easily the stuff exits, the less fanning, the less carbon monoxide to burn up. The more we expose our "butt-ems" and make mincemeat out of makeup-artists the more we will realize how each one of us is separated by teeny beanie twists here and there. We should show our differences in our dance routines, getting everyone to try something new and different, working together to build something sustaining; competition is good but we should ensure that everyone finishes up by cleaning their hands, no tearing of paper, saving trees.

NextraTerrestrial will be like that person we sometimes see in better-kept-bathrooms; just his presence makes guys want to wash removing the doubt about all those exiting; the one not standing in line becomes the odd one out; a confessional of sorts but without having to wonder what is going on beneath the robe.

While "righting up" [sic] our storms you won't have to worry about us doing stuff like tracking cookies or selling names but we most certainly will be taking names and "kicking ass" as the English prefer not to say. To the snotty we say, "Go eat cake... and then come back here when you are ready to make love with style, but with flavors from around the world all worth dying for. Cum cum Professor, now is not the time to choke on your conjugations; just think "amo amas amat...hey-a-ma count!" [sic]. Good tidings will bring in the "write sets of waves" [sic]. Show us you can take it as well as give it. Be the first to sign up to our message board and you will receive a magnificent piece of French pewter. Email us at