To:                  Randall Kaplan [co-founder of Akamai Technologies Inc. – AKAM]

Cc:                  Friends

Subject:           Party Invitation

Date:               December 1st 00

 

Dear Randall,                                                                                        

 

Today is the 27th anniversary of Ben Gurion’s death.

 

I am using this occasion, this last “unsolicited” email to reach out to you and anyone else who wants to come and partake in what I hope, will be one great party to celebrate “New Beginnings.” Randall, before you decide to simply hit the delete button or summon Larry, just think about this one other crazy thought of mine.

 

How many other known species out there including those which are now extinct, know how to party? Many like to have fun nearly all the time, my dog Maggie is one example although she on occasion can get grumpy when we humans do dumb things; just like the lady who works at the market who decided as she was leaving the other night to share her “goodies” with Maggie, thinking that just because she also has a chocolate Lab my dog would recognize her distinctive chops. Trust me when I tell you this dog lover will think twice before even giving her own choc Lab “tongue” again. Although anthropologists say the things that differentiate us from all the other species, the thumb-fingers and the voice bits, the truth is there are many species out there who may in fact have more dexterity than we do, who use less energy to get more accomplished to mention little of their communication skills, dolphins a good case in point. In fact, I often surf the shore breaks here in Del Mar with schools of dolphin; never once have I had to whistle or shout out “hey, this is my wave. No dropping in!” Even if I don’t use those exact words, they get the message loud and clear. Again, rarely do I even voice a sound. In fact, there have been occasions when they would lead the way and “kick out” letting me know I shouldn’t try any heroics. There have been times when I have not been so in tune and I have bumps, bruises and even a broken nose to show for all my intelligence. Of course, there are many other species who communicate better than we do and yet manage to avoid much of our internecine fighting. So much for our superior communication skills.

 

Yes, Randall, just think about this Party “bit” that makes us all so unique; how we, peoples of all different shakes, skin tones, and dialects can just come together, have fun, get connected, then go our merry ways, having bothered no one other than perhaps an uninvited neighbor or a local law enforcement officer. Do you think the anthropologists missed this one? We shouldn’t, however, be too harsh on these professors for have you ever met an anthropologist at a party? If you know one bring him or her along. If they belong to UCSD faculty be even more encouraging. Click right on to the Party Invitation – Addendum IX; but of course, you still have the “Larry option”. Remember though, there may several hundred others who may decide between now and December 9th to read every “bit” of email going back to the year dot in determining whether what all I have said is also “nutty.” For the real “Knotty” stuff click on Building Blocks – Addendum XII or the Knotty Jews – Addendum VIII.

 

Randall, anyone who has ever worked with me knows how strongly I feel about wasting time – that we can always make money but never can we make up for lost time. So why all of a sudden would I break so sacred a rule? How crazy could I have actually gotten that I would be sending you and others unsolicited emails? Or was I simply borrowing a play out of my friend King Jr.’s playbook, the one where he had the opportunity to bail out “crying” Senator Muskie and save the world from Richard and Henry back in 1972 by acting crazy -- of course, it was a badly executed play, actually he failed to execute period. Before you decided to lash out at me, you could have thought it through a little more, perhaps asked Trevor a few more questions, although as you know Trevor has this crazy idea that “if you want to embrace a cause you have to endear people to it.” [See “Nutty” Trevor -- Addendum I.]

 

Randall, you were not the only person to have received the FOOTSAK “business plan.” There was one other individual. “Kahuna” also happened to buy the beach cottage that I was previously renting. Like you, he made a few hundred million in his dot.com and, like you, he also hit the lecture circuit where he and I met up. Actually, the only spot left was a seat next to him at a speaker’s table at a UCSD sponsored function with the former commissioner of the FCC, Nicholas Johnson, the guest speaker – “What do you mean? How do you know?” [I too have yet to see a merger I like.] Kahuna and I had never met before and only weeks later when he showed up at my place did we both realize that he was now responsible for putting me out. Like you, he may not have got along with every one of his previous employers/investors. This spot is one of the last remaining bungalows located above the best right-break south of San Clemente (former home of “King” Richard who also cried, however only after he got caught, with “King” Henry kneeling beside him.) Smartly, Kahuna obviously sold some of his Yahoo stock at the right time. His actions in setting off the record pace of skyrocketing real estate values in this area may indirectly help set a trend for all folks who have more than they need and who wish to avoid setting up their next generations for a fall. [see Lifetime Offering – Addendum II].

 

Kahuna also received his dose of emails but unlike you he never expressed his agitation in any form, at least not to me. Maybe he was looking at the checks from Milberg Weiss that kept showing up at his address. For some reason these particular lawyers never got my new address at The Cave nor, by the way, did any of those checks get returned. My final check arrived this past week. It will join (uncashed) all the other memorabilia on display at The Cave.

 

Randall, right to the point. Kahuna, like you, never received any financial projections with the “business plan” about information being the “prized resource.” No one has ever seen a financial projection. No financial projections were ever prepared. Remember now, I am a numbers guy! [Chase Brass - One Hope for the future – Addendum III and Leucadia National et al – A “paid for” commercial – Addendum IV, provide a better sense of what I mean by the numbers thing. Randal continuum – Addendum V may also help clear things up for newcomers.] This must all now be making a little more sense to you et al.

 

Randall, should you wish to see more of the addendums just email me or have Larry call. X-Mail - Addendum X which is attached to this email is sort of like a summary which may also need a summary but I cannot delay any longer getting this invitation out.

 

All the best,

 

Gary

 

 

P.S. – Judge Cecil Margo whose son is a friend of mine passed away last week. Judge Margo was the commander Ben Gurion chose after the 1948 War of Independence to develop the blueprints that would become the foundation of the Israeli Air Force. The funeral started the clock on his full comeuppance.

 

 

 

Addendum I        -      “Nutty” Trevor – Attached.

Addendum II         -      Lifetime Offering.

Addendum III        -      Chase Brass – One hope for the future.

Addendum IV        -      Leucadia National et al – A “paid for” commercial.

Addendum V         -      Randall continuum.

Addendum VI        -      “Washington Bunch”

Addendum VII      -      Change of Heart.

Addendum VIII     -      The Knotty Jews.

Addendum IX      -      Party Invitation – Attached.

Addendum X       -      X- email – Attached.

Addendum XI        -      Just before… A non-privileged communication with my lawyer.

Addendum XII    -      Building Blocks - Attached.

Addendum XIII     -      Email to another Navy Officer and a Gentleman.

Addendum XIV   -      One Perspective – A tribute to… - Attached.